200 Harley Street: The Tortured Hero Page 14

  Lizzie sat in Leo’s chair, then reached down and to the side. Olivia heard a drawer opening and some riffling before Lizzie produced an intriguing flat box with beautifully embossed gold letters she couldn’t quite make out.

  Not that she needed to. Chocolate boxes looked pretty much the same the world over.

  Lizzie opened the lid and inhaled appreciatively. She offered the box to Olivia who, despite not being a huge chocoholic, took one anyway.

  ‘Leo always keeps a stash here for me. The baby has made this old sweet tooth even sweeter, and God alone knows I ate truckloads of the stuff when Leo and I were dancing around each other.’

  Olivia unwrapped the golden foil and bit into the sweet treat. It melted on her tongue and fizzed seductively against her tastebuds. She shut her eyes as it rushed through her system. ‘Mmm,’ she said, opening her eyes. ‘This is good chocolate.’

  Lizzie nodded enthusiastically as she picked a second out of the box. ‘They’re from the kingdom of Sirmontane. Marco—or I should say Prince Marco of Sirmontane, who Ethan patched up after being wounded in battle and who is engaged to Becca, our hand therapist—keeps me in constant supply. I’ve never been to a royal wedding before—I’m very excited.’

  Olivia had tried not to flinch when Ethan’s name was mentioned but it had been unexpected. She was pleased that Lizzie seemed too engrossed in reaching for a third chocolate to notice.

  ‘Sirmontane is known for its excellence in chocolate,’ Lizzie said, offering Olivia another, which she took without hesitation. ‘Better than anything you’ll get from Switzerland.’

  Olivia nodded. It was exceptional chocolate. She’d heard about Prince Marco, and had met the lucky Becca once, but she hadn’t known that Ethan had been his surgeon. Just the mention of his name took some of the sweetness out of the experience.

  Lizzie nodded. ‘The perfect antidote for what ails you, don’t you think?’

  Olivia nodded non-committally as she savoured the smooth rich flavour on her tongue. It really was quite spectacular, and had made her temporarily forget her man problems, but ever since Lizzie had said his name Ethan had become front and centre again.

  Why did she have to love him?

  Lizzie narrowed her gaze. ‘I’m going to take a punt and guess that you’re not thinking about the marvels of European chocolate?’ she asked.

  The sweetness coating her tongue turned to dust in her mouth and Olivia shrugged. ‘No.’

  ‘Are you thinking about Ethan?’

  Olivia blinked. She liked Lizzie from what little she knew about her, but Olivia wasn’t sure if she wanted to get into this with Lizzie, given the whole love triangle history she’d shared with Leo and Ethan.

  ‘I do know, you know...about what happened ten years ago. Between you and Leo and Ethan.’

  Olivia wasn’t sure what she should say to that. Was Lizzie angry? Was she going to call her names or want pistols at dawn? ‘Oh.’

  ‘Leo thinks there might be a chance for you and Ethan this time around. A real chance. Do you love him?’

  Okay. Now Olivia really didn’t know what to say. Lizzie sure didn’t beat around the bush. ‘I... I...’ What was the point in admitting it when it was a futile thing to feel anyway?

  ‘Do you know what happened to him on his last tour?’

  ‘Yes.’ Olivia nodded, pleased to be able to answer one question at least. ‘I read it in the paper and he and I...we’ve talked about it since.’

  Lizzie sat back in Leo’s chair. ‘He’s been through a lot. His injuries were horrific.’

  ‘I know,’ Olivia agreed. ‘Not to mention Aaliyah.’

  Lizzie frowned. ‘Aaliyah? Oh, you mean Dr Hassan? The doctor that was killed when the hospital was bombed? Yes. He hasn’t really said much about her, but I think he feels a degree of guilt over that too. I think everything about that day feeds into a significant case of PTSD.’

  It was then Olivia realised that Lizzie didn’t know about Aaliyah. Didn’t know that Ethan had lost the woman he loved that day. Which probably meant that Leo didn’t know either.

  He hadn’t told anybody.

  Except her.

  What the hell did that mean?

  ‘Look,’ Lizzie said, leaning a little closer and offering Olivia another chocolate. ‘I know this is none of my business, but Ethan is kind of lost, and he needs someone to stick with him, and I think, by the way you flinched when I mentioned his name before, that you’re probably the one to do it.’

  Olivia shook her head. Lizzie might be well intentioned but there was a lot she clearly didn’t know.

  Lizzie raised her hand at Olivia’s objection. ‘I know these Hunter men. I know how they push you away. But I also know that they didn’t exactly have warm and fuzzy upbringings and that they’re hurting deep down inside—Ethan probably more so than Leo.’

  Olivia admired how Lizzie was on Team Hunter. A wife should be. But... ‘I don’t think you know the full story,’ she said tentatively.

  ‘I know Ethan behaved reprehensibly,’ Lizzie said. ‘But if you love him, please, please don’t give up on him.’

  Olivia watched as Lizzie’s hand fell to her belly, to a baby that wasn’t even on show yet. ‘The Hunter men are worth the fight.’

  Olivia felt absurdly like crying. If only it were that simple.

  She knew how great it felt to be Ethan’s woman. Even if he had been with her for all the wrong reasons he’d always been very attentive. Made her feel as if she was special. And she believed a lot of that had been genuine for him.

  But there was another person now in their already complicated relationship. A woman he’d made it clear was his one and only love. How was she supposed to compete with Aaliyah?

  Was she destined always to love a man who didn’t love her back?

  ‘Another?’ Lizzie asked.

  Olivia nodded. Why not? Chocolate was simpler than the problems that whizzed and clashed in her brain.

  And it might be the closest she’d ever come to gratification again.

  She found the biggest one and sank her teeth into it.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  THREE DAYS LATER Ethan stood in the doorway of Ama’s hospital room and watched as Ama admired herself—actually, preened was probably a better word—in front of a small hand-held mirror. She angled her head from side to side and brought the mirror closer for a moment or two, before taking it back to appreciate a wider frame.

  She’d been looking at herself in the mirror practically non-stop since she’d first seen her new face a few days ago, and he never got tired of seeing her reaction. She still had the staples in her graft, and there was residual swelling around the operative area, but her face was now ‘whole’ and it was obvious Ama was thrilled with the result.

  Yes, they had more work to do in the next couple of months, and the dressing over Ama’s trachea from her healing stoma was a constant reminder that not everything had gone smoothly. But the aesthetic part of the reconstructive surgery had been an outstanding success.

  Olivia was clearly ecstatic with the result. He watched her as she sat on the bed in front of Ama, and even though Ethan could only see her in profile he knew she was grinning broadly at Ama’s mirror antics. He enjoyed the sight for long moments, because the minute she saw him it would all change.

  She’d been cool towards him the past few days. Not that he could blame her. He’d pushed her away in his need to cling to Aaliyah and this was the result. But still, he hated to see the distance in her gaze, hated the walls between them even though he was responsible for them.

  Even though he knew it was the best way forward.

  As he watched, Olivia gave Ama the pen torch and he could see the girl’s eyes shining from way across the other side of the room. Ethan remembered how Olivia had talked about having
children one day. He thought about all the kids at the Lighthouse he’d seen her with too. She was a natural and, watching her with Ama, he knew she’d make a great mother.

  Something stirred in his chest at the thought of what her babies might look like—stirred, tugged, kicked—but he quashed it. Whatever mini-Olivias looked like it was none of his damn concern.

  Ama giggled and dragged his attention back to the room. She popped the pen torch into the side of her mouth that hadn’t been operated on and, with her mouth closed, flicked it on. Ama watched as her cheek glowed red in the mirror and she laughed so hard Ethan thought she was going to fall off the bed. It was so infectious, so joyous, so innocent—as it should be—he couldn’t help joining in.

  He saw Olivia’s back stiffen slightly as he entered the room but she turned and gave him a small smile, and even if her eyes were cool her demeanour was one hundred per cent professional as she stood politely.

  Ethan sat on the bed where Olivia had been and there was some more playing with the torch, and Ama, who’d really come out of the shell she’d been in post-op, chatted as if she’d been mute all her life and had just found her voice. Dali was scrambling to keep up with her and Ethan laughed at her enthusiasm.

  He glanced at Olivia, who was looking down at Ama with affection in her gaze. Was she thinking the same as he was? Would Ama have been this carefree—this animated, this happy—if she’d been married off at such a young age?

  Was she thinking about the potential Ama had now?

  Olivia had literally given this lucky little girl her life back.

  ‘Well, I think you are way too well to be in hospital, Little Miss,’ Ethan said, looking back at Ama. ‘I think it’s time you went and stayed with your host family until your next operation.’

  Olivia watched Ril and Ama’s face as Dali translated. They were so rapturously happy she could feel tears scalding the backs of her eyes. Fair Go had sourced an African family to host Ril and Ama in between surgeries, and she knew how much they were both looking forward to some familiarity.

  There was a flurry of excitement in the room and it was hard for Olivia not to get caught up in it. She’d been keeping herself in check around Ethan, but when he smiled at her with a how-great-is-this? look in his eyes she found herself smiling back.

  It was great. Apart from a hiccup or two, Ama’s surgery had been successful and that was something to celebrate. There was no reason to be churlish because their personal baggage sat like a loaded luggage carousel between them.

  But when he cocked his head to indicate he wanted to talk to her outside she felt the barriers going up. The man was rocking a pair of scrubs again and she really wasn’t strong enough for this.

  Now Ama was being discharged there was no need to see Ethan on a regular basis until Ama came back in for her next scheduled op. And once Ama was back in Africa Olivia would be gone also. Sure, she’d be coming back and forth to London on charity business, and she’d also be in phone and email contact with him, but that would be so much easier than this.

  Having to face him so soon after their talk in the gym, after realising she still loved him, was too hard. She could accept that she loved him, and that he’d never return that love, but not if he was parading around in her deepest secret fantasy garb, taunting her with what would never be hers.

  Olivia took steadying breaths as she stepped into the corridor with him, hoping this wasn’t anything personal. He’d made his position clear and she was fine to walk the line he’d drawn.

  ‘Tell me again where Ama’s staying?’ he asked, folding his arms across his chest.

  Olivia tried not to notice the way the scrubs pulled tight against his biceps and to concentrate on what he’d asked, relieved it was all business. They had a brief conversation revolving around Ama’s discharge planning and her living arrangements in between ops.

  ‘I’ll get Helen to make an appointment for Ama in my rooms on day ten,’ he said, making a mental note to tell the very efficient Hunter Clinic senior receptionist when he got back there this afternoon. ‘The staples have to come out then, so it might as well be the first follow-up.’

  Olivia nodded. ‘I’ll see that she gets there.’

  Ethan studied Olivia for a moment. It sounded as if she wasn’t going to be attending herself and he wondered just how much he was going to be seeing of her now. He knew it was a good thing, to get some distance from each other, but perversely he didn’t want not to see her either.

  Talking to her the other day had been harrowing, and he’d been harsh and awful, but he’d felt as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

  Hell, he’d slept through three nights in a row.

  Olivia turned to go—clearly they were done here. But his ‘I need to thank you for the other day,’ pulled her up.

  She turned and arched an eyebrow.

  ‘I know I was...harsh, and I pushed you away, but...it really helped being able to talk to you...about what happened. About...’ he dropped his voice ‘...Aaliyah. I feel...better. I’m sleeping better.’

  Olivia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She shut her eyes against it, wishing it was as easy to shut her ears. She didn’t want to know how much better Ethan felt. Did he have any clue how much worse she felt?

  A wave of anger and frustration welled in her at his obliviousness. ‘I shouldn’t be the only one who knows this, Ethan,’ she said, lowering her voice to a scathing whisper as she folded her arms. ‘Hell, I can’t believe you’ve never told anyone. Don’t you think that Leo should at least know?’

  Ethan was taken aback by her contemptuous disbelief. He’d never thought to tell Leo. It had all been too big, too horrible even to contemplate. He’d just been hanging on, getting through each day and then Olivia had come back. He and Leo might be closer now, but he doubted they’d ever be that close. ‘Why?’

  Olivia shook her head. ‘Dear Lord...why do you think, Ethan? Because he’s your brother, you idiot. He loves you. You’ve taken all this time to mend your fences and work on your relationship and yet you keep this big...huge thing that’s been weighing you down and screwing you up for over a year all to yourself? He’s your family, Ethan, and I know you don’t really know how that works, but trust me on this—you share this kind of stuff with each other.’

  Ethan frowned. She was really ticked. ‘Okay...maybe you’re right...maybe it is time I told Leo. But I don’t understand why you’re so angry about it.’

  Olivia all but rolled her eyes. Because I love you too, you idiot.

  ‘Hey, Olivia, just checking you’re—’ Kara stopped when she realised that Olivia wasn’t alone in the corridor and that things were a little intense between her and Ethan. ‘Oh, sorry,’ she apologised.

  ‘Don’t be,’ Olivia said stiffly, glaring at Ethan. ‘Perfect timing.’

  She turned and gave Kara a strained smile. Kara looked from Olivia to Ethan and then back to Olivia. The look on her face said she wasn’t sure at all about the timing.

  ‘You wanted something?’ Olivia prompted tersely.

  Kara put up her hands in a placatory manner. ‘I was just seeing if we were still on to go dress shopping this arvo.’

  Olivia groaned inwardly. Damn it. The hospital ball. She’d forgotten that Kara had finally harangued her into going. But with Ama being discharged and spare time on her hands she was going to need something to fill it.

  ‘Sure,’ she said, softening her smile and nodding reassuringly at Kara. ‘Looking forward to it.’ Like a scalpel to the jugular.

  Kara nodded and scooted away with what Ethan could only describe as indecent haste. ‘So...you’re going to the ball, then?’ he asked.

  Ethan had thought she’d resisted all Kara’s entreaties to let her hair down and have a night of fun.

  Olivia felt tension lock her jaw at the surprise in his voice. R
ight at this moment she resented the hell out of how well he thought he knew her. ‘Yes, I am,’ she said, her voice not so much of a whisper any more. ‘And I’m going to dance with every available man there. And I will be making it my mission to not go home alone,’ she lied. ‘You got a problem with that?’

  Ethan felt her angry challenge kick him right between the eyes. As it happened, he had big problems with it. He knew he had no say over who she did or didn’t sleep with, and that she was a free agent, but the thought grabbed at his gut and squeezed hard.

  He was aware of the curious gazes of the staff passing by them in the corridor. ‘Why don’t you say it a little louder?’ he said, keeping his tone low.

  Olivia saw red. Patronising bastard. She opened her mouth to refute his statement about the volume of her voice when a male nurse winked at her as he passed by. ‘Put me on your dance card, darlin’,’ he said in a thick Irish accent.

  Olivia blinked, startled by the offer, heat flushing her cheeks. ‘You got it,’ she said, and then smiled as the Irish charmer grinned and clutched his heart, all without missing a step.

  Ethan clenched his fists by his sides and made a mental note to talk to the guy about boundaries. ‘Olivia...’ He shook his head. ‘This isn’t you.’

  Olivia returned her gaze to Ethan’s face. He did look less tired than she’d seen him. ‘Oh, yes it is,’ she said testily, lowering her voice again. ‘This is who I am now.’

  Now he’d made it clear his heart was taken.

  Ethan took a step towards her. ‘Olivia.’

  It was like a punch to his solar plexus when she took a step back, her eyes frosty. It had never been his intention to hurt her. Again. He’d laid his cards on the table to avoid hurting her. But right now she looked as if she’d never hated him more. Not even that day she’d overheard the argument between him and Leo and called them toxic.

  Olivia wanted to step closer so badly she had to grind her feet into the floor to stop herself. Ethan was right—it wasn’t her. But she had to break his hold over her.