200 Harley Street: The Tortured Hero Read online

  Ama grinned.

  Olivia was conscious of Ethan’s big silent presence by her side as they walked out together. It was just like the old days—walking side by side through the Lighthouse.

  Complete with the same old awareness. That delicious little frisson.

  Which was pointless and useless and completely inappropriate!

  ‘Thank you,’ she said as they stepped into the corridor. ‘You were very good with her.’

  Ethan brushed off the compliment with a shrug. ‘I think she’ll be happy with the result.’

  Ama was always going to have scarring and obvious skin grafting all her life, but he was confident they could close her oral and nasal cavities so she could swallow and eat properly and look more or less like other girls of her age.

  Olivia smiled at him. ‘I know she will.’

  Ethan sucked in a breath at her full-wattage smile. It was the first one she’d given him in over a decade and he’d forgotten how deadly they were. ‘I’ll get the X-rays and MRI organised for this afternoon,’ he said briskly, trying to dispel the strange tightness in his throat. ‘We’ll also need a full battery of blood tests.’

  She put her hand on his arm as she’d done earlier. ‘Again. Thank you. Will you ring me when you have the results?’

  The fact that he hadn’t yet apologised to her weighed on his conscience as she looked at him as if he’d discovered a cure for cancer. But as they stepped aside to let an orderly with a wheelchair pass Ethan knew that a hospital corridor wasn’t the best place for it either.

  ‘How about we go to Drake’s for dinner and we can discuss it further there? I can bring my laptop and the images on a stick.’

  Olivia blinked. ‘Drake’s is still around?’ They’d been regulars at the bar during their time at the Lighthouse.

  Ethan nodded. ‘Drake’s has been an institution around here for over a hundred years. There’d be a riot at the clinic if they shut down!’

  Olivia laughed. Considering how many of Drake’s clientele were hospital staff, Ethan was probably right. She hesitated, though. Being back with Ethan amongst so many familiar memories probably wasn’t a good thing. Maybe she should try and limit that?

  ‘Come on,’ he persisted. ‘You want to see the scans, and we’ve both gotta eat, right?’

  Olivia couldn’t fault his logic. ‘That’s true.’

  ‘I’m seeing clients until six tonight, so how about I meet you there about six-thirty?’

  She nodded before she changed her mind. ‘Okay.’

  * * *

  Ethan waved to Olivia from the booth table he’d claimed when she arrived ten minutes late. He watched her wend her way through the early evening crowd. The cool night air had put some pink into her cheeks, reminding him of strawberries and cream.

  He shook his head as the thought lodged in his brain. Strawberries and cream? For crying out loud—he’d be writing freaking poetry next!

  ‘Sorry I’m late,’ she said as she stopped in front of their booth and stripped her duffle coat and jacket off, revealing the blouse from earlier. His gaze drifted to her cleavage and those three little buttons, still undone.

  ‘No worries,’ he said as he forced his eyes upwards. ‘I took the liberty of ordering you a glass of wine. You still like to drink Shiraz when it’s cold outside?’ he asked, indicating the glass of wine.

  Olivia blinked at the glass, surprised he’d remembered. She probably shouldn’t be—he’d always been a details man. But still, it had been ten years, and given the true nature of their previous relationship she was surprised he’d even bothered remembering in the first place.

  ‘Oh, yes—thanks...’ she said, settling into the booth opposite, pushing the bitterness aside. It was a long time ago and she was over him and the games he’d played.

  Olivia took a sip and noticed the open laptop. ‘That the scan?’ she asked.

  Ethan nodded. ‘Yep.’

  ‘Well, show us, then,’ she said, placing her glass back on the table. ‘I’ve been dying to know how fully the NOMA has invaded and the true extent of the damage.’

  Ethan looked over the rim of his beer glass at Olivia. The scans were very interesting, and he could only imagine how someone as invested as Olivia would be desperate to pore over them, but first things first.

  He shut the laptop lid and took a steadying breath. ‘In a moment,’ he said. ‘There’s something I have to say first.’

  Olivia glanced at him. His voice was deadly serious and her heart pounded like a gong in her chest. What the...?

  ‘I owe you an apology.’

  She opened her mouth to say something but Ethan cut her off with a slice of his hand through the air.

  ‘Please, Olivia, I need to get this out.’

  He’d been rehearsing it all afternoon and he was grateful that she closed her mouth and let him get on with it.

  ‘I’m very sorry for what happened ten years ago. For my reprehensible behaviour. For the way I used you and hurt you. For involving you in something that I shouldn’t have. Basically, I’m sorry for being a total...jerk. There is absolutely no excuse for my behaviour. And I’m not expecting your forgiveness. I don’t blame you if you hate me. I just want to be able to clear the air so we can work together. With the budding partnership between Fair Go and the clinic we’re going to be seeing each other quite a bit, and I don’t want it to be awkward between us. At least not because I haven’t apologised, anyway.’

  Ethan’s heart was pounding when he’d finished and he grabbed his beer for a deep, long swallow as Olivia sat like a stunned mullet in her seat.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  OLIVIA BLINKED AT the most comprehensive apology she’d ever received. Her fingers tightened around the stem of her wineglass as she was sucked back to the emotional tumult of that time.

  He had acted reprehensibly. He had been a jerk. He’d hurt her. He’d broken her heart. Just...taken it and stomped all over it.

  She’d never loved anyone as she’d loved Ethan Hunter.

  He’d certainly made her wary of ever letting anyone in again. In fact she’d never really let anyone in since. Sure, she’d dated. She hadn’t become some born again virgin. But she’d never given her heart to anyone else. And that was all because of Ethan. Mostly because he’d damaged it so badly, but also because, deep down, she’d measured every other guy against him.

  And none of them had measured up.

  Yes, the irony that a jerk had been her yardstick was not lost on her. But even though his motives for being with her had been grubby, his treatment of her had always been exemplary.

  They’d had so much fun—being with him had been the best time of her life.

  Ethan couldn’t bear it as the silence stretched between them and she just kept staring at him. What was going on inside her head?

  ‘Olivia?’

  Olivia dragged herself back from the past, her gaze focusing on this Ethan. The thirty-five-year-old version. He was seeking forgiveness. Seemed to need it, if the intensity of his gaze was any kind of indication. Was it purely about Ama and their having to work together or was there a more personal absolution he was seeking?

  ‘I don’t hate you,’ she said, picking up the glass of wine and taking a sip.

  Even when her heart had been haemorrhaging she hadn’t hated him.

  ‘Hate implies strong emotion and the truth is I don’t feel anything for you, Ethan. Not any more. It was ten years ago. We’re different people, a lot has happened, and I’ve been over you for a long time. But you’re right—we do need to work together, so clearing the air is good and I appreciate your very comprehensive apology. Thank you.’

  Ethan knew he should feel relieved, and he did. But her admission that she felt nothing for him was startling.

  Nothing?


  Seeing her again had aroused a whole host of feelings. Nostalgia, apprehension, uncertainty. Hope. Worry.

  Guilt.

  And when she’d touched him last night—need, desire, lust.

  It certainly hadn’t been nothing. After a decade apart and their turbulent history how was nothing even possible?

  But she was looking at him with such assuredness. The same old Liv, but different. The emotion and the connection he’d witnessed at the hospital earlier, that she’d been known for, were nowhere to be seen.

  Well...if that was the way she wanted to play it. She was, after all, the wronged party.

  ‘No,’ he said, reaching out to cover her hand with his. ‘Thank you.’

  Olivia looked down at their joined hands. She’d used to dream that they’d be this amazing his-and-hers medical team—just like her parents. Living and loving and sharing. Growing old together. She’d been such a fool.

  And she wouldn’t go there again.

  She pulled her hand away. ‘Don’t,’ she said.

  Ethan frowned at her abrupt withdrawal. ‘I’m sorry... I didn’t mean... That wasn’t...’

  ‘Accepting your apology does not mean that we’re going to pick up where we left off, Ethan.’

  Ethan quirked an eyebrow. Whoa. ‘I didn’t think it did.’

  Olivia didn’t care how egotistical she sounded. She needed to put it out there. Ethan was still as handsome as he’d always been. Probably even more so now life and experience had given his good looks a devastating depth.

  Not to mention those fascinating shadows in his eyes.

  ‘I know you,’ she said. ‘I know how it starts. So just don’t...’

  Ethan blinked. Did she think he was using his apology as a segue into some kind of pass? He knew he didn’t exactly hold the moral high ground with her, but her insinuation was pretty damn insulting. ‘Well, surely,’ he said, withdrawing his hand and wrapping it around his beer, ‘for someone who feels nothing that won’t be an issue.’

  Olivia was surprised at the bitterness of his tone. Had she annoyed him by her deliberate choice of words?

  Too bad.

  She’d been lying about the nothing, of course. Her body had been in a complete jumble for the past twenty-four hours. She wished she felt nothing. The way she had after the tears and the anger and the heavy sense of loss had all passed and she’d gone through life on autopilot. Nothing felt far preferable to the other stuff. It hurt less.

  She’d gone there too, after her parents had been so cruelly snatched away. She’d craved the pain-free bubble of nothing back then. And had spent way too long inside it.

  ‘Just putting my cards on the table. You and I aren’t going to happen. Not going there. Not going there ever again. Never, ever.’

  Ethan had an absurd urge to laugh at her emphatic denials. But he didn’t think that would be appreciated. ‘Are you trying to convince me or yourself?’

  Olivia shivered as the low, gravelly note in his voice slid along the muscle fibres deep inside her belly. Their gazes locked for a brief moment and in those seconds she saw the golden flecks in his eyes flare to life as if a match had been struck.

  And she felt a corresponding flare in those muscle fibres as they smouldered, then flickered to life.

  ‘Just promise me it won’t happen,’ she said, desperate as heat spread through her belly. ‘Say it out loud. I need to hear you say it.’

  Ethan wanted to reach across the table and yank her sexy mouth right on to his. Okay, she didn’t want anything to happen between them, and after he’d screwed up so badly last time he owed her that at least.

  But, damn—it was all he could think about now.

  And he despised himself a little bit more.

  ‘I promise.’ And he meant it. He raised his beer glass. ‘Here’s to never, ever.’

  Olivia clinked her glass to his, feeling relieved and mollified. ‘Good,’ she said, taking a decent swallow of Shiraz. ‘Now, show me the damn scan.’

  * * *

  They pored over the images for the next half-hour until their meals arrived. They talked about Ama’s interesting facial anatomy, forever altered by the gangrenous infection. They talked about the staged repair and the different surgical approaches open to them. About anaesthetic options and the pros and cons of different types of grafting. About the potential complications.

  During dinner they discussed timeframes and the team they’d need. They also touched on Ama’s long-term recuperation and eventual follow-up. By the time their meals were finished they’d just about talked themselves through every aspect of Ama’s care.

  Olivia placed her cutlery on her empty plate and checked her watch—almost eight o’clock. If she left now she could be at the hospital before Ama went to sleep.

  ‘You have somewhere to be?’ Ethan asked as he drained the dregs of his second beer.

  Olivia looked up. ‘Sorry...yes... Do you mind? I’ve been reading some English books to Ama every night. She loves Dr Seuss, although I have no idea how much she understands.’

  ‘I think Dr Seuss transcends language barriers,’ Ethan said.

  Olivia smiled. ‘Yes, I think you might be right. It’s just so good seeing her laugh, being a kid, you know?’

  Ethan nodded. He’d been in a lot of places where children had to grow up too early. Where going to school and kicking a ball around weren’t options. Where the innocence of childhood was usurped by the harsh realities of war and poverty.

  His mind wandered to Aaliyah. To how she’d despaired about the children too.

  So like Olivia in many ways.

  ‘Yeah. I know.’ He stood and grabbed his jacket, shrugging off the memory, refusing to compare. ‘Come on, then, I’ll walk with you.’

  Olivia stood too. ‘It’s okay, it’s not far. I’ll be fine.’

  ‘Liv,’ Ethan said, ‘I’m not going to let you walk the streets of London at night by yourself—especially when the Lighthouse is on my way home.’

  Olivia’s breath hitched as he reverted to the shortened version of her name. Did he remember when he’d started calling her that? Just after they’d first made love?

  Had he even realised he’d done it?

  ‘I’ve walked these streets many a time by myself, and way later than eight o’clock.’ During her year in London she’d walked, bussed, tubed all over, at all hours of the day and night.

  ‘Not when I was around, you didn’t.’

  And it was true. Ethan always had been the perfect gentleman. Well, except for that one time when he’d dragged her into an alley on their way to her place and had his wicked way with her because neither of them had been able to wait.

  She huffed out a little breath, annoyed at her brain for dusting off that particular memory. ‘Fine. Lead on.’

  They were out on the street in under a minute. It was chilly after the warmth of the bar and Olivia buttoned up her duffle coat, pleased for its impenetrable warmth as they turned in the direction of the hospital. Unlike the thick wool of her tights, it was keeping out the cold. Her warm breath misted in the air and she set a brisk pace as icy fingers wrapped around her legs.

  ‘So tell me about Fair Go,’ Ethan said, leaning heavily on his stick to keep up with her.

  Olivia stumbled a little at the unexpected question and felt his steadying hand briefly at her elbow before he removed it. ‘I’m sure if you search for it online you’ll find all you need to know.’

  Ethan didn’t care that she didn’t want to talk. He needed to. Because all he could think about at the moment was a particularly steamy incident in an alley not far from here, and that wasn’t conducive to a platonic walk.

  ‘And why would I do that when I have the charity director at my disposal?’

  Olivia shrugged. ‘I started it a couple o
f years ago... I’d just finished my second stint with Médecins Sans Frontières—’

  ‘Wait,’ Ethan interrupted, placing a hand on her arm and urging her to stop. ‘You worked for Doctors Without Borders?’

  Olivia drew to a halt. ‘Yes,’ she said.

  She remembered how Ethan had often talked about wanting to take his surgical skills into conflict zones. She had already been marinated in her parents’ humanitarian works, and Ethan’s fervour had easily infected Olivia. He’d hated—been embarrassed by—his father’s lucrative cosmetic surgery clinic when there was so much suffering in the world, and had been determined to make a difference.

  She’d hoped they’d do it together. Like her parents had. And then things had ended and she’d thrown herself instead into her parents’ work in remote areas of Australia. But when they’d been lost she’d needed something more. She’d needed to get away.

  To be totally absorbed in something other than her own grief.

  ‘What can I say...?’ she said, pulling away. ‘You inspired me.’

  Ethan let her walk on for a bit, the belt on her royal blue coat pulled tight against the cold, emphasising her petite frame. He’d had no idea she’d followed through with their fledgling plans to join the famed international organisation. He’d assumed they’d fallen through when their relationship had ended.

  He should have known—she’d always been strong-willed, her petite physicality belying the strength of her character.

  ‘Where did you go?’ he asked as he caught her up.

  ‘Africa,’ she said, keeping her gaze dead ahead. It was bad enough that he filled up her peripheral vision with all his sexy, haggard broadness.

  ‘And that’s where you got the idea for Fair Go?’

  Olivia nodded. ‘I saw a lot of kids with terrible conditions falling through the cracks because they weren’t classed as emergency or life-threatening. But they did affect the quality of those kids’ lives. And why should they have to suffer because they had the misfortune to be born into poverty? Why shouldn’t they have the same expectations as kids in the western world?’

  Ethan heard the husky note creep into Olivia’s voice as they stopped at a red signal and waited to cross the road. ‘I agree,’ he murmured.